Emmett Does His Homework
by Rogue12158
Summary: Homework is a part of life. But for our dear Emmett Cullen, it's torture with a cheese topping. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH! T for swearing.


Rogue12158

**This is just something that I wrote a long while ago. For my friend's birthday.**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!!**

**Don't own Twilight. Damn.**

_Emmett Does His Homework_

Emmett's POV

_Teachers are stupid!!_

I mean seriously! I go hunting and I come back and find myself with an essay for History class assigned for the day after I get back! Not to mention that, apparently, it's worth half my grade! Worse still, it has to be on the lamest topic ever. I could—and have, numerous times—handle a regular paper, one that I could just take out of a filing cabinet, but I wasn't that lucky.

The History of god forsaken cheese.

I started to bang my head against the unused dining room table, hoping for inspiration to hit me. Unfortunately, the only thing that was being hit was the table... And it broke.

Did you know that a vampire hitting a table multiple times in a row could snap it in half? BECAUSE IT CAN!!

Then the reality sunk in.

For a vampire, Esme is very docile. She is kind and motherly... But then someone destroys the furnishings... And we die all over again. Unpleasantly. I'm _so_ dead.

But, instead of worrying about it, I simply situated myself on the front porch. I could probably say that Bella just fell on it. That may work.

The porch was a seemingly perfect place to work, but _seemingly_ is the keyword there. Sure the porch has no video games, no computer or magazines, but there was one distraction. The most annoying pest that refuses to die off.

The fly.

At first, I just tried to do my essay, ignoring it, but it wouldn't stop buzzing around my ear—and when your a vampire, with perfect hearing, is fucking annoying!

This essay was going to kill me! Damn cheddar; damn mozzarella; damn gorgonzola; damn provolone; and damn the freaking fiesta blend that is sold in the freaking supermarkets!!

But, instead of letting the stupid fly intimidate me, I decided to make it the object of my procrastination.

My eyes followed the fly's movement as it zoomed all around my head, the essay now long forgotten.

I was so entrance by the fly that I was completely oblivious to Esme and Rosie walking—right by me—into the house.

What did break my concentration, however, was the high pitched shriek of my name, "_EMMETT McCARTY CULLEN!!_"

Hello death, nice to see you again.

But, Esme's tone was _nothing_ compared to the look on Rosie's face. Saying nothing at all, she took my ear between her fingers, and proceeded to tug me towards my impending doom. Or the dining room, whichever you prefer to call it.

When we reached my new grave site, I saw a very pissed Esme with her arms crossed and tapping her foot, the look on her face was expectant.

"Care to tell us what happened here, Emmett?" Esme asked as Rose tightened her grip on my ear.

"Not really, no—" the hold grew tighter "—I mean, of course I would! What happened, my dear _forgiving _mother, and my very _beautiful and kind _wife, I do believe that Bella came over today. And with her constant clumsiness, it's not that big a stretch to say that she might have fallen on it." I really hoped that worked... I had no past experience of fooling the Cullen women, but there always been a first for everything!

"Emmett," Esme had a smile on her face that can only say two things: She bought it—not likely; or she was trying to cover up a maniacal laugh trying to break through—more likely than the former. "If that were true, then how come there's an Emmett sized dent on each halves of the table.

Oh, _shit._

I sighed, lowering my head in shame—the shame more coming from leaving such incriminating evidence behind—and raised it back, just as quickly, 'cause of the hold Rosie still had on my ear.

My punishment was torture. I had to rebuild the table, without the indent of my face; do my essay; no video games for a month; no jeep for two weeks; and no Rosie for one week.

Torture. Torture with a cheese topping.

**And there you go! Poor Emmett, right? I thought it was cute.**

**Review for Sarah's birthday! And for me... I like them, too...**


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